TSA Explains Enhanced Pat-Downs
The TSA released this PSA to explain why they are conducting more advanced pat-downs this holiday season.
I’m flying soon and don’t want to go through the scanner. My reason? The radiation. I don’t much care for strangers seeing my nude bits; however, if you insist on seeing it then you deserve what you get, considering I’m heavy thanks to having quit smoking more than a year ago and replacing nicotine with chocolate and assorted noms that are delicious.
It’s the radiation. I’ve had three cancer scares. Four if you count the one from when I was 15. My uterus is in bad shape and needs to come out. I don’t want to fuck around with radiation more than I already do. So I am opting out and requesting the titty-pussy-grope.
I do have a question. Do I get to pick who gropes me? Because I’d like to request a lesbian with an ironic sense of humor.
Also, I’ll have my dog. He will be naked already because he’s an exhibitionist whore.
Cross-post from my Sunnyside blog.
